Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

The questions started when I was pregnant with A-Train. Barely able to see through a fog of nausea and heartburn, I was pelted with questions about the baby's gender.

Have you found out the sex?-- No
Are you going to find out the sex?--No
Do you want a girl or a boy?-- We don't care.

And, my personal favorite: What is it? (To which my personal favorite response was a stoic: We're hoping it's a puppy.)

These were not the answers that anyone wanted to hear. People would claim to need to know the gender of my unborn. And seemed unwilling to accept that, as far as I was concerned, gender was just an insignificant detail that would be revealed soon enough.

The questions didn't stop once the baby had been born and his gender made public.

When are you going to have another one?-- Have you never read Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior?

Were you disappointed to have a boy?-- Are you trying to be rude?

Aren't you going to try for a girl?--What does that even mean?


Wash rinse and repeat this entire process substituting Big D for A-Train.

Then, when pregnant with Mr Butler, it was assumed by seemingly everyone, that the only reason I would have a third child was so that I could "finally get my girl." Obviously, I bombed that one and produced yet another boy child. Clearly I missed my calling as a queen or princess- with the rate at which I produce male heirs, I'd be worshipped in some countries!

Even with no more babies on the horizon the comments keep coming. Usually they're harmless if, irksome.

Are they all yours?-- No, I picked this one up at the bus station.
Three boys!-- Yes, it seems that way.
You've got your hands full!-- Is that an offer to help me carry my groceries?
I bet you're busy!-- Yes, I am. And I imagine you're pretty busy at your job, too.

But occasionally, they're so rude I can hardly believe I'm hearing them. Case in point, last week I bumped into an acquaintance whom I haven't seen in a couple of years. She has two boys around the ages of my older boys. As we caught up I mentioned that I'd had another baby. Her first question was about gender. And when I told her that I'd had a third happy, healthy, beautiful boy, she frowned and said that the number one reason she didn't have another baby was because she'd "get stuck with another boy."

Usually, when I get less-offensive versions of her reaction, I just say something like, "having boys is awesome!" But this one really took me off guard. She clearly pitied me for getting myself stuck with my children. There were lots of things I wanted to say to her, but none of them were appropriate for a children's sporting event.

So I did the only thing I could, walked away hand-in-hand with my oldest boy feeling pity for someone who's missing out on the fun of a third child because she doesn't have what it takes to love a child unconditionally.