Saturday, August 17, 2013

The Doctor is In

I've always had boys in my life: three brothers, guy roommates, a couple of live-in boyfriends, so it only seems fitting that I'd be the mama to three boys of my own. And while I've had my entire life to accept, and even embrace, the boyishness, I never suspected that I would become a boy myself. (Now before you get all riled up, rest assured that I'm not about to tell you about my plans for gender reassignment surgery!)

Owing to my fondness of all that is boy, my propensity for being at least two years behind the rest of the civilized world, and my well-documented frugality, I bought this - quite near the end of its shelf-life and on mega-sale- yesterday:

I also bought the Zombie Lab version. But, because my transition is not yet complete and I can still be totally grossed out by some things, I left the Snot Shot version on the shelf.

I set to work putting the contraption together this morning so that we could all participate in time-tested family bonding activities such as "licking bursting blisters" and "drinking foaming belly brew." Then we gathered round the table, Mr Butler excluded because, well, because he's a menace, and set to work making ourselves ill.

That's Big D going in for a blister lick.

A-Train pumping the plastic heart to force some sort of nastiness through a series of tubes into a plastic stomach.

And then we drank it. Some of us going back for second and third tastes. And no one died!

When the fun was over and I was washing Belly Brew Activator out from under my fingernails I yelled to the boys as they ran up the stairs, "I had fun making blisters with you!" And Big D yelled back, "I had fun making poopies with you!"

And I laughed.

Transition complete.